I Don't Really Know WHAT To Say...

Well... what do I say? My cousin (Denise)... who's blog can be viewed at http://pharoahstreasure.blogspot.com/ I think she thinks I am personally attacking her for her being a Muslim. I am not. For me, being a Christian, condemning her and her husband for their beliefs would be wrong. Each person on this earth... has the right to believe and be anything they choose. Because of my faith as a Christian, I have the right to pray for people, people who are Christians, people who have other faiths, people who have no religion or faith at all. My heart desires for each person to be happy with who they are... and to be open hearted enough to accept me and my beliefs... just as I should be with them. If my cousin, Denise, feels like she is being personally attacked by the things I write about... then I am truly sorry. Yes, I pray for her and her husband. I pray for their souls. I pray for them to be happy. I pray for them to think of life in every positive aspect that they can. I pray for their success in this country. I pray for the souls of EVERY family member of mine. I have twin brothers, who have been raised as a Christian, who are not practicing any religion at all. I have a dad, and his wife... I pray for them... I don't know where their hearts are. If I were to choose... I would have every single family member of mine... join me in heaven... and I pray that I too, am worthy enough to go there. My cousin Denise, has a brother... who basically has disowned our family. I pray for him and his wife and kids also. My uncle and aunt (Denise's mom and dad)... they are in my prayers. I pray for my step mother's kids... and their children. I pray for my husband's family... his mother, who has been shunned by one too many church... his grandmother, who is close to no longer being here on this earth... his brothers and their families. I pray for all of their souls. When I speak of my beliefs in God and my love for Jesus... it comes from MY heart... where I have MY faith... where I have MY sense of religion. I have founded my beliefs on Christianity. That is MY choice. I love my cousin and her husband, Karim, with all my heart. Just as I do the rest of my family. How they all choose to live and believe is just that... THEIR CHOICE. When the day of judgment comes... AND IT WILL COME... it will not be me asking whether or not their lives are worthy. Each one of us will stand alone... and account for our lives and what we have done with them. I have the right to pray for any and all souls that I want to. We have the rights to disagree... but... we do not have the choice of whether or not to love one another. I do love you, Denise (and Karim), and if you cannot accept me for what I am... then I am truly sorry. I am also sorry if you do not understand where I am coming from. I will never be sorry for being a Christian. I choose not to learn of other religions... that does not make me a bad person... it is simply how I want to be. I am not... and have never... been the type of person to put down anyone of any other faith. As far as my husband goes... he believes in God. It is personal between him and God. He chooses not to speak of it. He is, however, very open to speaking his mind. He is also the type... that if he is put down... he can wash his hands of the whole thing and think not another thing of it. That is how HE is. Each one of us has our own qualities... our own beliefs... our own thoughts... our own hearts... our own souls. So when I ask... Where do YOU stand with God? What does that mean to you?

My cousin, Denise and I, have been the best of friend all our lives. More like sisters than cousins. Nothing will ever change that. If she chooses to have that be different because our religions don't "mesh"... then that too... will be her choice... not mine. My mother taught me a quality that isn't taught by many. She taught me how to love people unconditionally. It may hurt me in the long run... but I do love people... unconditionally.

Denise wrote me an email today. I responded the best I knew how. I hope she does not read into it things that are not supposed to be read into it. Mostly what I wrote was through choking back tears. I hope she will read this post and understand how I feel a little better. I don't know what else to say. Forgive me if I wronged you... love me for who I am... and find mutual respect for how each of us has chosen to believe. I don't have to agree with you all the time... same as you don't have to agree with me all of the time. We have the right to disagree...

There is nothing that you can do... that will change my love for you. Gonna have to try really hard... but it won't happen. If you choose to never speak to me again because we cannot agree on how we believe... then so be it... but I will always pray for you... and Karim.