...Through The Eyes Of Jesus...

When the darkness and heaviness of this world block the ways of the Lord... sometimes it seems impossible to see things the way we are suppose to see things. We struggle through the muck and trudge through the drudgery of everyday garbage that can literally keep us from the life that God wants for us.

I really vented yesterday. It felt good to get it all out of my system. It bogged me down and I felt like I was wearing concrete shoes and someone was ready to push me off of the end of the pier into the thick and murky stench of despair.

Yesterday afternoon... something happened to me.

I had been in tears most of the day. My heart felt as though it was being ripped from my chest and I felt emptiness in my soul. I felt alone inside. I did not feel God around me. I longed for His presence... I ached for His comfort. In my mind I felt as though I was praying constantly... but I really wasn't.

A few days ago... I received my monthly magazine from Jesse Duplantis Ministries which I enjoy reading. I read most of the magazine a couple days ago... not really paying too much attention... but enjoying it none the less. Yesterday... I read an article by Cathy Duplantis about the basics of prayer. It really touched my soul. Alot of it I had heard... or read before... but it is kind of like when you read a special verse in the bible... it can mean something to you the first time you read it... and years later... it can be fresh and new all over again! The Lord is alive and real in this dead world... and I bow down every day in complete thankfulness for that!

When I completed reading the article... I sat there contemplating it... mulling it around in my mind... and my heart was open to a new way of praying. All I could think of was... Lord... help me to see and do what it is I need to see and do.

I got up to go to the bathroom. Our house was so hot and muggy. During the winter months... my husband likes to take the laundry dryer vent tubing off and let the heat warm the house instead of losing it outside. I hate that he does that... it drives me insane... but... that is what he does. I went into the bathroom to freshen up and just "be alone".

Usually a trip to the bathroom involves my daughter coming in to talk with me... and sometimes Rich comes in... and of course our little dog Sterling HAS to be where his dad goes. It is when I get the rare opportunity to really "be alone" in the bathroom that I enjoy. God and I tend to share alot of praying in there... it is a rare quiet place that He and I talk heart to heart. Praying in the shower is such a pure and cleansing feeling. Call me crazy if you want... but try it first!

Anyways... There I was. The mirrors were all fogged over because of the muggy heat from the dryer. I could not see anything. I bent over the sink to brush my teeth and wash up a bit. We have one of those old medicine cabinet mirror things that have the sliding doors on the front that are mirrors also. Well... as I bent down... the very top edge of the mirrored doors had about a one inch strip across the tops of them that were not fogged over.

At first... I had caught a glimpse of my shadowed outline of my face and hair. I had been feeling so ugly and scraggly... as I spoke about in my post yesterday. When I saw the foggy image of myself... I could not make out any definite lines at all. It was then I heard the voice of the Lord... so soft and compassionate in my heart. He said... "Your image to me is beautiful... even in a fog... I can see you clearly... and you are beautiful to me."

I looked at the fuzzy image and I saw the beauty He spoke of. Then... in the strip of the mirrored doors that was not fogged over... I caught a glimpse of just my eyes. I froze. Just looking at my eyes... almost as if they were not my own. I then heard the Lord's sweet voice again. He said... "You need to see the world through the eyes of Jesus."

I was speechless. I just stood there looking into my own eyes... with toothpaste burning on my tongue. I was in awe of the Lord. I felt His presence all around me. I felt comfort and almost like a door of newness opened up in my heart and mind.

I was so tired from all of the stress. I went into my bedroom and decided to take a nap. I wanted to soak in all of the comfort I was feeling. I sat on the edge of my bed and I asked the Lord to help me see with the eyes of Jesus. I asked Him to keep my eyes focused on the good things of this world... and to see through the muck that the devil throws at me.

I laid down and took a nap. I woke a couple hours later... very slowly. I felt as though I was laying weightless on a bed of angels wings... wrapped in the comfort of the arms of the Lord. I had dreams about my situation at work... and with my department manager. I felt peace. She needs the Lord in her life. I need to see her with the same eyes that Jesus sees her with. I need to uplift her in prayer. I need to make peace with her not only in my soul... but in real life as well. Perhaps... she is one of the souls... that I am to help bring to the Lord. I think the devil knows this fact... and he is doing his darnedest to keep me from it... but I have news for him...

"Greater is He who is in me... than he who is in the world."
~1 John 4:4