Feeling a little out of place...

I really enjoy living where I am right now. It has been one new adventure after another. I still can't help feeling a little lonely for something familiar. Here in West Virginia... which by the way is a beautiful place... the hills are rolling. Unlike the Rocky Mountains that cut crisp jagged slashes of rock up into the sky. Here... it looks as if God tripped over something while He was planting the trees and spilled his bucket of tree seeds. He must have had ALOT of seeds! Because there are all different kinds... ALL OVER THE PLACE! That... to me is beautiful... yet different than what I am used to. I really miss the Oregon coast. Standing on the edge of the world... next to a watery paradise that cannot be compared to anything else... ok... maybe a little piece of heaven.

Some of the trees across the "grove"... as people call it here... are slightly twinging to other colors. I am excited to see fall. I do not like winter anywhere that has snow... however... it can snow on Christmas eve and stay til New Year's and it would be ok. Here... the trees and rolling green hills and valleys turn to grey against white in the winter. I saw what that looked like when we first got here this past March. I guess you might call that kind of scenery a pencil sketcher's paradise.

There is beauty all around us... no matter where we are. I suppose it is only as natural as life itself to miss familiarity. Finding a new way in life is a challenge. Am I up to it? Well... I guess I am... as I have no choice in changing it right now. I believe that God picked this place for us to be. It is hard to describe really.

I was having a difficult time living with my mother in law... whom... by the way... I love almost as much as my own mother.... almost. It was very hard living under someone else's roof. To submit yourself to another way of life completely... difficult. Adapting... is a challenge.

The day I had the accident in the car... was a life changing day for me. I have found many blessings out of that accident. Yes... our car was totalled... and it sits in a locked up wreck yard... with a sad little look on it's face. On the day of the accident... the minute I got in the car to make the 54 mile trek to work... I had a sense of foreboding all around me. I wanted to go back home and call in sick. I seriously felt ill...... not physically...... but "something" wasn't right. I knew I could not go back home. I had to keep my job... I needed the money... and I am not the kind of person who likes to call in. When I am supposed to be at work... I am going to be at work. I took off driving... and instantly felt the need to pray. I started sobbing and crying out to God. What I kept repeating over and over was... "Lord... you know where I am supposed to be... just get me to where I am supposed to be." I was praying in the "spiritual and financial and a place to call home"... sense........ but... when I rounded the last turn into the parking lot to where I work...... the tire, axle, area completely broke off of the front passengers side of the car. It didn't happen on a long hilly road... it didn't happen on the 70 mile per hour interstate... it happened in the parking lot to where I work.

I give thanks to God every day for him keeping me from harm that morning! He indeed got me to where I believe I was supposed to be. From me getting the job here... mostly by word of mouth... to finding a house five blocks from work... everything has been planned out for us by God. We were open to His will for our lives... and I believe we will be blessed here.

You know what though? To totally put trust into the Lord... when your future feels as steady as a rickety old rope bridge hanging on by a thread above a deep and craggy crack in the earth... it is hard... it is hard to trust... but you have to! No matter what the circumstances... pray to the Lord to protect you in all ways... to surround you with His mighty angels. I pray always for my friends and loved ones, our car and our home... and everywhere we are to be completely surrounded by His angels of protection... and I have a simple faith that He will honor my prayers. I KNOW He will honor them! He has done so in my past.... more times than I can count.

Yes... I am lonesome for my friends that I left behind. I am homesick for familiarity. But I see daily new faces... and am experiencing new things... and new surroundings... and I am finding that each day gets easier to trust. You have to really work at it sometimes. Trust can be an easy thing to do... but in order to do it right... you have to surrender the part of you that brings the wall of fear and uncertainty down. It's difficult... but... WITH God... all things are possible! ALL THINGS... not just SOME things.... but you have to do it WITH God!

Be blessed... and if you don't feel blessed... look around you... your very life is a blessing!

I hope you enjoy my poem that I wrote this afternoon.

"Lonesome For Friendship" by: Suzii Bunting 09/21/07

My heart seeks out the moments.
The one's that might have been.
Long is the time that passes by.

To touch the hand of one's heart...
That I have not yet known.
To see my reflection in their eyes.

Take me to the time that's lost.
Show me who you are.

I will find your friendship there...
And place it in my heart.

The roads along this journey...
Brought me here to find my way...
I've travelled them so far.

Open up your life to mine.
Become a friend to me.
What makes you who you are?

Time goes by faster every day.
We cannot fail to try.

Love and friendship lasts beyond...
The days that pass us by.